Going to the mall to visit Santa was the highlight of the holidays when we were kids. The long lines were totally worth it when it was finally your turn and you could tell him about all the toys you wanted for Christmas. You know those guys in the red suits at the shopping center have heard it all and a new Reddit post has them opening up about their experience by asking, “Mall Santas of Reddit, what’s the funniest thing a kid asked for?”
From cute to silly to downright unhinged, these are some of the best responses:
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- “My son asked for a Green Bay Packer one year. He had an entire plan about how he would feed him and take him outside to exercise and he could sleep next to his toddler bed.”
- “I had a 15-17 year old girl whisper to me that she wished for her acne to go away. I, of course, had no training and was a dumb 22-year-old. I just told her it would go away on its own. I don’t know if I traumatized her or helped her.”
- “My favorite was this 4 or 5-year-old girl who told me she wanted ‘one of those loud horns.’ She made a gesture like she was using those canned air horns, and she made a little horn sound. She said she wants to use it to wake up her baby brother when he naps in the daytime so he ‘knows what it’s like.'”
- “Many years ago, a little girl hopped up and told me she wanted ‘some makeup and some tits.'”
- “My 2-year-old asked for ‘bwead.’ Santa asked if he was sure he didn’t want anything else. He paused and said, ‘butter?'”
- “My kid saw Santa for the first time this year, and his answer was, ‘Elves.’ Santa did not know how to reply.”
- “After waiting two hours in line, my daughter asked Santa for a hot dog.”
- “There was this one kid who asked for his parents to divorce and a new set of parents and a lot of siblings, because his parents were always fighting.”
- “My kid is 2.5 years old, so this is the first year she understands any of Christmas. She wants blue ice cream because she saw a picture of her daddy eating blue ice cream, and now she wants it too.”
- “One girl said, ‘I want a round block of cheese.’
- “One kid once climbed onto my lap, looked very serious, and said, ‘I don’t want toys. I want a receipt so I can return my brother.'”
- And finally, one child asked for “a human skull.”
Source: BuzzFeed⠀
